just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
