okay pat passed out under dana's car
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
