Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
