This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
