Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
We got so high we made milksteak
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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