he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
