Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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