smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
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