You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
