9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
