I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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