the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
