scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
