Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
So what if is hockey, you donβt turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
