this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
