ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
there is glitter all over my balls
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
