That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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