C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize