I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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