Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
