i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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