Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
