hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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