Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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