Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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