You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
