I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
