Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
