After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize