GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize