You made me cry and you don't even care
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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