I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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