I can tuck mytits in my pants
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
