No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
