I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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