found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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