It's Friday. Sex?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
