so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
