i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
