She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
