need another drink. this is the easiest way
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
