I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
