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Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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