you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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