Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
