its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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