Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
