I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
