last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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