He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
This baby is an asshole
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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