We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
