The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
