dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
