we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
