This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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