What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
did i walk over a car last night?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
