my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
