Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
