Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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