Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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