im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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