i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
