Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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