You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
