I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You pole danced in your parka.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
