Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
